The tour began in Scandinavia. Other than one festival in Oslo, Norway last year, the band hadn't played in Scandinavia since 1991. This time, the first show was in Copenhagen, Denmark. As soon as the band arrived at the club (in their big black Mercedes tourbus with black one-way windows!) Rudi was approached by LORENZO WOODROSE, who presented him with a handful of CDs by his band, BABY WOODROSE, who Rudi often sites as one of his favorite new bands. RUDI and MAD MIKE were interviewed by a local radio station at the venue. Read Interview! The next night The DEFECTORS' frontman, MORT HARDER, showed up backstage to party with the band. Check out their track on Illegitimate Spawn (and on the upcoming Vol. 2)!

By the third night (Stockholm, Sweden) things started getting wild. A 15 year old girl and her equally pubescent boyfriend, high on ecstasy, came backstage to party. Her offers to service LANA orally were appreciated, but not realized, while the STOMACH MOUTHS' bassist raved drunkenly about The Fuzztones. Before the show in Oslo, Norway, a window on the band's bus had been broken by vandals. Unbelievably, only a few of the driver's personnel hygiene items were stolen, and the DVD player, camcorders, laptops and other valuables were left intact. A girl was waiting for The 'Tones at the venue with business cards, offering her "services" to touring bands. After the show, several friends came by to congratulate the band, including FLAMEBOY, and Rudi's old pal ALAN PEATE, who used to babysit Rudi's cats when he lived in Venlo, Holland. One female fan came backstage, attempting to secure a free t-shirt. Rudi arranged a trade... A classic skull and crossed Phantoms logo shirt in return for her agreeing to sleep with Lenny. Later, mistaking Bo for Lenny, she was shunned, leaving Lenny rather despondent when he found out she was actually after HIM, but had already left by the time he found out. The trip to Germany was a mild form of Hell, especially for Ollie, the band's driver, as he was forced to hold in place the cardboard that was duct-taped to the smashed window, trying desperately to shield himself from the torrent of rain that lasted all the way to Berlin.





Up 'til now the band had 3 horns, but were joined in Berlin by KAPI, the second sax. The SRO crowd included Illegitimate Spawn's HANK RAY, and Punk queen TEXAS TERRI, as well as members of Berlin garagesters, WHAT FOR. Illegitimate Spawn graphic designer MARKUS STRUEMPEL and his wife KATARINA were also in attendance, as was H.P. DANIELS from Germany's largest newspaper, Tagesspiegel. Superfan ANDY COSTA came all the way from London, and caused quite a few heads to turn when he swayed shirtless at the lip of the stage, proudly displaying his THREE Fuzztones tattoos! LENNY and SCREAMIN' BO debuted their newly acquired Phantom guitars (courtesy of an endorsement with the company of the same name), and not to be outdone, Mike debuted his newly acquired Beatle boots (After the first show the heels fell off his and he did the rest of the shows with his boots held together with duct tape)! The club (White Trash Fast Foods) announced this as the band's "Last Show Ever," which may or may not have accounted for the three encores. Before leaving Berlin, a stopover at Rudi's underground Absinthe bunker was in order, where the band consorted with select invited elite.

Next gig was in Erfurt, Germany at a cool joint that looked alot like the Cavern Club; a railroad-style venue with stone walls and long bar. Cool opening act too (THE PARASCOPES), playing some obscure garage nugget on Phantoms as The Fuzztones walked in. Amazing rider with carved watermelons. It was here that Rudi bestowed Lars his new stagename, LARS BONFIRE. The tourbus broke down the next morning and the band had to push it 'til Ollie got it started, as Screamin' Bo adopted the role of overseer. Once back on the road, Rudi spent a good deal of the trip interviewing Mike for Rudi's upcoming autobiography. Typically, the tape player quit working mid-interview, unbeknownst to Rudi and Mike, and a good deal of very interesting recollections were lost forever. The crowds were great in Germany but even better in Eindhoven. The band hadn't officially played in Holland since 1991 (they did a small word-of-mouth underground show at a club in a squat in Den Hague in 2005, but that didn't really count). The club was the Effenaar, a venue that the band had played many times in the past, and the band seemed pleased to be back! The packed house included MONIQUE DEMARTEAU from THE WANTED (soon to appear on Illegitimate Spawn, Vol. 2), PABLO from SONIC LITTER (Spawn, Vol. 1), SONIC TEMPLE'S JOERI(on Vol. 1 as well) and his pal Gino (who has taken many great Fuzztones tour photos in the past).







Pics by Gino and Joeri

Rudi was especially glad to see a very special guest, BERTA PEATE, who came with her son John. Berta helped Rudi to escape from Venlo, Holland in 1995 (long story - you'll have to wait to read Rudi's book), and the reunion was an emotional one.





Live at the Petrol Club, Belgium. Pics by An.




The next night was a bit chaotic to say the least. The band, greedy bastards that they are, agreed to play TWO shows in ONE NIGHT! Driving all day to Opwijk, Belgium, they got to the venue just in time to hurry in, set up, gulp down a whiskey/coke (rum & coke for the horns) and jump right onstage, to a crowd of 700 crazy Belgian Rock & Rollers. 40 minutes later the band was packing up while leaving the audience screamed for more. The opening band had an amazing collection of vintage Vox equipment, and were kind enough to let The Fuzztones use it. Longtime Fuzztones friend and artist for the Salt For Zombies album, BOLEK BUDZYN came with his gal Natalie, to give the band support. It's always great to see them, but as usual, no time for conversation. Even the groupies backstage had to be ignored (although Rudi did sign every album for the mom who had brought her 15 year old daughter). The band made a quick change of clothes in the bus as they raced to the next venue, 40 minutes away in Antworp. Joeri was waiting with Gino, and his pal Sam, who was wearing a Fuzztones leather vest that he admitted Gabe had stolen from Rudi and given him in 2005. They presented The Fuzztones with a cake professionally decorated with the Fuzztones logo!



After this marathon, the band needed a vacation - and that's just what was on the agenda: THREE DAYS OFF IN BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY BARCELONA! Between sex orgies, drug orgies, drug AND sex orgies, half naked beach outings and drinking binges, the band managed to fit in a bit of sightseeing, including the amazing Gaudi church and park. Highly recommended viewing while highly high. Last time the band played in Barcelona, old pal LYDIA LUNCH dropped by, and this year old pal and booking agent ROBERT MILLS showed up, as did yet another devoted fan displaying his Fuzztones tattoo. The actual gig (Be Cool club) was packed, and The Fuzztones tore the house down. The typically wild Spanish audience demanded four encores. Spanish and Italian fans could teach courses on how to be the perfect Rock 'n' Roll audience(s)! Despite long drives between shows, the 'Tones were looking forward to the following Spanish gigs. The next night at Sala Stereo in Alicante was just as wild, with a certain member of the horn section, who will go unnamed, making a drug deal while onstage and ending up passing out on the toilet. A few puke-stops on the way to Madrid, a little hair-of-the-dog, and he was his old self again, complaining about the COLLINS KIDS videos Rudi forced the band to watch on the long haul to Madrid. LARRY COLLINS might just be a little much when you're nursing a major hangover. As Madrid is the home of former Fuzztones drum basher, RAMIRO NIETO, the band kind of expected him to show up at the gig, but knowing Rams, he was probably busy "ramming" some little Madrid cutie. The show kicked ass, as usual, and one gal was so inspired that she leaped onstage, grabbed Rudi's mic and tambourine, and took over, finishing whatever Fuzztones classic the band was in the midst of, as Rudi looked on bemused. The evening's accommodations turned out to be a brothel . Yeeha! The last Spanish gig turned out to be a bit of a letdown, as the band tried to entertain an extremely stoned Irun audience that had begun smoking 4 hours earlier at soundcheck. A 25 minute version of Black Lightning Light, complete with Pink Floyd inspired improvs, seemed apropo. Pics courtesy of Marga and Natalia.











The band looked forward to returning to Crockmore, an intimate R&R club in Perpignon, in the South of France. This place is run almost entirely by the incomporable BEATRICE, who not only operates the club, and prepares the band's meals, but even does the sound! Along with her constantly drooling bulldog, she always makes the band feel more than welcome, and the audience is always great. Another particularly fun aspect of playing Crockmore is that the place is small enough that the equipment never needs to be miked. This makes for a much more "vintage" sound, as the amps can be turned up and the band can control the sound from onstage. Club soundmen rarely have a grasp on the Fuzztones unique sound, often turning the bass and kick drum up too loud in the mix (obviously confusing The Fuzztones with hip-hop or techno), so it's always a pleasure to play at this venue. On a rather sad note (for the 'Tones, that is), the band's alto saxman, Kapi, had to leave for Berlin the next day, to attend the birth of his new son. Two days later, on the way to Vienna, the band stopped in Codriopo, Italy, and met up with old pals SEXTRESS and their pal FABIO, an interviewer for a major Italian rockzine, for an outdoor breakfast at a beautiful old (restored) villa hotel. Sextress was the band that backed Rudi and Lana on Rudi's recent solo tour of Italy, and their version of Bad News Travels Fast appears on Fuzztones Illegitimate Spawn Vol. 1. By the time The Fuzztones hit Vienna, the band was beginning to drag a bit, but old pal (and former JAYBIRDS manager) "THE ELK" was waiting at the club to greet them, "administering the medicine" that perked them all right up. STAGGERS wildman, EVIL, and his gal were in attendance as well, not to mention RONNIE ROCKET (the "Rudi Protrudi of Vienna," by his own account). Ronnie reminded Rudi of the time in the late 80's when Rudi had taken three girls back to the Eurstenhof hotel, and a jealous boyfriend had smashed the band's tourbus window with a brick. Only a few minutes later one of the girls involved showed up and confirmed the story. Ronnie repeatedly insisted he wasn't the guy who smashed the window. Mmmhmm. The horn section, under the impression that Ronnie might be able to show them a good time, ended up paying for Ronnie to have a good time. Hee hee. But I think they DID get their "quality" rum and coke - at least that night. The band hit Backnang the next day, where Rudi was finally able to get his Beatle boots reheeled. Lana and the barefooted frontman spent the wait hanging out drinking huge mugs of beer with local punk rockers, as Rudi offered them a lecture on real Rock 'n' Roll. Later in the club, the punks attended and offered Rudi illicit substances to show their appreciation. Met old pal and superfan JERGEN who presented Mike, Lana and Rudi with giant framed collages consisting of photos of them from past concerts. The next gig was in Frieburg but details are hazy. The following night in Koln, however, was a blast. The club owner and his ex rolled out the red carpet. Her several-course home cooking was a big hit, as was the Absinthe. As with all clubs where the owner or manager go the extra mile, the band responded by putting on an extra-kick-ass show. By the fourth encore the band had run out of material, so Mike, Rudi and Screamin' Bo jumped up and launched into Link Wray's "Jack The Ripper," followed by Link Protrudi's "Backfire," with the entire band (and horn section) joining in. THE WANTED's Monique DeMarteau came backstage with two gay pals who asked if Lars was gay. Also on hand was PAINTED AIR's drummer TORBEN, who sat in with The Fuzztones for last year's Roadrunner Festival in Finowfurht, Germany. Rudi did an interview as well - though we can't recall if it was for radio or press. The booking agent showed up to collect his percentage from the tour - always a sure sign that things will fall apart by the following night. Sure thing, when they arrived in Dortmund, the band were shown their accomodations - a punk rock hostel basically consisting of two rooms and a bunch of mattresses. When the 'Tones discovered that the opening band was staying in the best hotel in town, Lana promptly called FRANK at WEIRD WORLD (the band's often inept booking agency) and tore him a new a**hole. Soon The Fuzztones were relocated to the best hotel in town. Note to future promoters: Beware the wrath of Lana Loveland! The last show was rockin' but the band had to forego the traditional after-tour party as to wake up early the next morning for a recording session which Rudi had booked at a local studio. The idea was to record the set as an audio tour souvenir of The Fuzztones Last European Tour, complete with horn section and hammond organ. At least 17 basic tracks were layed down and we can honestly say that the band was never tighter, or more powerful! The band is now in the process of completing the album, which they plan to release in the Fall. After driving straight through the night to get to Berlin early so Mike could catch his plane back to New York, Sextress drummer, KEKO, arrived only a few hours later. After a short night's sleep, the band began rehearsals again - and two days later we were back on the road to complete the tour with a few Italian shows. The first gig was an outdoor festival in Udine, Keko's hometown. Despite the rain, the show went on, with the bands setting up in a giant tent.




Pics by Stefano Masselli

Sextress opened all the shows for the Italian part of the tour, so Keiko worked double-duty. It was Lana's birthday and Sextress presented her with a fantastic homemade tiramisu made by JUSI, the mother of their singer, ANDREA. To show the band's appreciation, Rudi dedicated the evening's set to her. The Fuzztones, Sextress and former Sextress guitarist MAX (and his gal MILA) partied backstage, indulging in the Absinthe that Lana and Rudi brought from Berlin, and the homemade grappa provided by the festival. The last show was at the Velvet Club in Rimini. The Velvet is a huge and beautiful club next to a lake, which has been around forever. The Fuzztones have played it many times, beginning in the mid-80's, and for several years the club had a huge painting of the Fuzztones logo behind the bar. This show was one of the rockinest of the tour, and the audience was crazy. Several freaked-out Fuzzheads climbed over the crowd barrier railing, trying to get at the band. The security, helplessly out-numbered, just gave in. Inspired by the chaos, ROLLO took a flying leap from the riser, slid to the front of the stage on his knees, and belted out a honking baritone sax solo. The audience refused to let the band off the stage and demanded SIX encores! The Italian promoters, RUMBLEFISH, and especially SERGIO, did a fantastic job as always. Pics by Michele Morri.







After a short intermission, The Fuzztones chose to do their final show at the Beat Epoque Festival in Verona on Saturday July 14th. For this gig they decided to go it as a four-piece (the first time The Fuzztones have been a four-piece since 1982). Former LINK WRAY sidemen (previously former LINK PROTRUDI sidemen!) ERIC DANNO and ROB LOUWERS were enlisted as the rhythm section and Rudi took on the role of sole guitarist. After a set consisting mostly of more primitive garage raunch from the Leave Your Mind At Home and Live In Europe albums, Misty Lane's MASSIMO DEL POZZO jumped up to join the band for a rollicking encore of 1-2-5. Two encores later, The FUZZTONES bid Verona adeau.



THE FUZZTONES WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR COMING
OUT AND MAKING THIS ONE OF THE GREATEST TOURS EVER!
THE BAND WILL CONTINUE TO RECORD AND PLAY OCCASIONAL
FESTIVALS AND ONE-NIGHTERS.STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS!!!